In a world that feels unstable, it can be hard to remember that peace is a choice we can return to. Staying peaceful and compassionate is not about avoiding anger, grief, or difficulty. It is about recognizing them, seeing them clearly, and deciding, moment by moment, not to let them control us. There is a particular kind of holding that becomes invisible through repetition. Thoughts return to the same places. Emotional weight is carried so consistently it no longer registers as weight at all. It simply feels like how things are. We all recognize this: the mind revisits old injuries, unresolved conversations, imagined explanations. What repeats unconsciously begins to feel necessary.
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Peace does not arrive as certainty or victory. It appears as steadiness, a subtle shift away from compulsive reaction. A willingness to let experience be acknowledged without immediately acting it out. Letting go is not passive; it is deliberate, chosen, and repeated.
Anger, Division, and the Work of Awareness
Anger has many textures. It can be sharp, heavy, righteous, sticky, or quietly resentful. It can masquerade as clarity, moral resolve, or loyalty to a wound. Often it persists not because it is examined, but because it is rehearsed.
The Buddha spoke plainly about this. He said that holding anger is like grasping a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. The one who is burned first is the one who holds it. This is not a metaphor or moral lesson. It is an observation of cause and effect in the mind. What we cling to shapes us before it reaches anyone else. Letting go is discernment, a choice to interrupt harm, not deny experience.
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Division arises from pain reacting to pain. When we are overwhelmed, the mind seeks relief by narrowing focus, pulling away, or assigning blame. Protecting one’s space can be wise, but habitual separation tends to isolate rather than heal. Compassion is not an abstract virtue. It is a capacity that depends on conditions. When we are depleted or defensive, that capacity diminishes. Caring for oneself is inseparable from caring for others. Without that balance, empathy becomes unsustainable.
Grief adds another layer. Some grief is clear and socially acknowledged. Other grief is ongoing. It is unresolved. Some relationships ended without closure. Some people are still alive. They can stir loss simply by appearing unexpectedly—in a crowd, on a screen, or in memory. This grief loops, returning repeatedly. Buddhist practice does not ask for agreement with what arises in the mind, but for recognition. Seeing grief clearly, without dramatizing or dismissing it, is already wisdom. Acknowledged experience loses its compulsion to repeat itself.
Choosing Peace, Moment by Moment
Carrying pain is not weakness. It often means staying present longer than what’s easy. But carrying without awareness shapes speech, thought, and action. Words are spoken quickly. Judgments harden. Actions follow familiar grooves. Suffering continues not through intention, but through unexamined repetition.
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Peace is the deliberate interruption of that repetition. Non-reactivity, and it is not withdrawal. It is an active discipline, chosen again and again. In unstable times, this work is visible, not less relevant. Agreement is not required. Relationship is. Standing together does not mean thinking alike. It means refusing to let fear or injury dictate the terms of engagement.
There is a phrase from the mind-training teachings: Stay, and Begin again. Not because one has failed, but because staying and beginning again is the practice itself. When the mind tightens, notice it. When grief resurfaces, acknowledge it. When reaction takes over, pause, and stay, and begin again. You are allowed to choose peace. Not once, but repeatedly. That choice is steady, discerning, and very much alive.
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While my digital course platform will be closing soon, I’m keeping it open for those of you who would like to join before Friday, January 16th, at a price lower than ever. This is your chance to explore these practices in depth while the doors are still open. I will also be offering an IRL workshop on the same theme as this blog post soon, giving another opportunity to engage with these teachings in person. Join here.
With so much love,
Stay, and Begin again.
Lama Chimey
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Lama Chimey 